The role the shadow aspect of your zodiac sign plays in your romantic relationships
First introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung, the shadow personality refers to those aspects of ourselves that we are not keen on others knowing about and would rather turn away from or hide — or remain in the shadows, if you will. As clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manley, PhD, and author of Joy from fear previously said ok + goodThe shadow side tends to be the part of us that we are not aware of and that we tend to suppress.
She says, “They often have parts of the self filled with shame, guilt, inferiority, and an inability to love—all those crucial parts we’d love to walk away from a very ego-driven personality.” These traits can be largely positive, but can turn into negatives in the right circumstances or if taken to extremes.
“Relationships can act as a mirror, and if we are in a romantic relationship that allows us to be our full selves, it will include the astral parts of ourselves and the parts you don’t really want to look at.” Astrologer Stephanie Gilling
Astrology allows us to dig deeper into our personalities, and learning how your personality traits can affect your romantic relationships is part of that. “Relationships can act as a mirror, and if we are in a romantic relationship that allows us to be our full selves, it will include the astral parts of ourselves and the parts you really don’t want to look at,” Stephanie Gelling, astrologer and author Astrology: A Guide to Understanding Yourself Through the Sun, Moon, and Stars.
It is important to remember that these traits in and of themselves are not necessarily negative, but they can manifest as negatives. For example, consider how a Capricorn’s careful planning and perfectionism can help them climb the corporate ladder, but how this same trait can also prevent them from actually entering romantic relationships unless that person checks every one of their boxes, or how Libra desires. Their fairness and compromise can help them maintain relationships, but they may leave their own needs unaddressed in a romantic partnership.
Read on for Gailing’s intel Alexandria Littmanand astrologer and founder of the spiritual wellness platform gem buyerabout how each zodiac sign’s shadow side manifests in their romantic relationships.
How each aspect of the zodiac signs affects their romantic relationships, according to astrologers
It’s no secret that you act before you think sometimes, Aries. In many cases, your audacity is a plus, but for some, that recklessness and impulsiveness may be an understatement. “You can be impulsive and self-centered, so you may rush into relationships and may seem inconsiderate of other people’s needs but only because you connect. by yourself Littman says. To ensure that your behaviors are not misinterpreted by your partner, Aries, slow down and think about your words and actions and how they will be received.
Taurus, there’s a reason your horoscope is symbolized by Taurus. Your determination can be read as difficult, Gelling says. “You can seem stubborn and very slow to change,” she says. Try to let go a little bit, because compromise can be a wonderful thing in relationships.
It can be hard to get your attention, Gemini, so you may be prone to losing interest in romance if you feel bored or ignored, Littman says. This can be a great mechanism for making sure you get what you want, but it can also make you look choppy. “Your instinct when a spark of some sort dies out is not to revive it but to move on, so it can make people think you’re not serious about commitment,” she says. Instead of moving forward so quickly, take stock and decide if there is something worth working on and if there is something, take steps to get back on track.
Nurturing and protecting those you love is part of how you show your affection, Cancer, Gelling says, but sometimes that can be stifling or overly guarding. “It can come across as ‘I will protect these people at any cost,’ and it can lose sanity,” she adds. As much as you want to nurture and protect, remember that you can’t always do that — Lettman adds that it’s key to letting your SO do things on their own so that your loving actions are better appreciated rather than resentful.
Leo, it’s no secret that you love the spotlight, but although showmanship is welcome in many ways, your penchant for drama can sometimes come across as too much. “You’re prone to being dramatic, especially when you’re bored, and this can manifest as picking a fight,” Littman says. Don’t start disagreements just to keep things interesting, make sure you read the room and lighten up if necessary.
Always a perfectionist, Virgo, your subtlety and attention to detail may come from a good place, but your feedback can come across as criticism. “You may think you are supportive and helpful, but in reality you will come across as critical and picky,” says Littman. Work to soften your approach and provide feedback gently, she advises, instead.
You’re always striving for balance and fairness, Libra, but sometimes you lose yourself in your diplomacy, which can lead to a lack of consideration for your needs and feelings. “The thing Libras have to watch out for is being more willing to compromise and then feel angry at the end of the day that no one thought of them,” says Gelling. She adds that your need to make everything fair and not take sides can seem superficial. Set and maintain healthy boundaries to be sure for you Needs and wants are met, and see that your constant bargaining doesn’t lead you to harbor resentment toward your partner, Littman advises.
Your deeply rooted desire to be in control fuels your need to hide and be mysterious, Scorpio, but be sure to watch that you don’t push your partner away because of it, says Gelling. It’s all or nothing, and a Scorpio’s main wound is fear of abandonment, so “I’ll cut you off before you cut me,” even secrecy can cut someone, she says. As hard as it can be, try to let your guard down and not always be on the defensive.
You’re the free spirit of the zodiac, Sagittarius, and you don’t let anyone stand in your way of wandering and exploring — not even your SO. But your need to always be independent on the go can mean you leave your partner out, and they can come across as reckless or indifferent. “Because you’re so free-spirited, your significant other may think that you don’t think about others when you make plans,” Lettman says. Make sure people know what you’re up to.
Your caution and talent for planning may serve you well in many areas of life, Capricorn, but this same trait can derail your romantic efforts. Since it takes time to open up to someone, you may find that you’re too careful not to allow spontaneity or openness, Littman says. “You’re quite emotionally reserved and don’t want to get too deep with someone, but it can take a long time for you to be ready for it, and by then you could have missed the boat,” she says. Try to be a bit more spontaneous and jot down your planning board every now and then.
You root your actions in logic, Aquarius, and you care deeply about facts. Sometimes you may rely too much on thinking and not enough on feeling, so it may seem like you’re underestimating your SO’s feelings; You may be predisposed to dwell on other people’s feelings, Gelling says, which creates emotional distance. “You can find yourself cold, rational, and detached,” says Gelling. Remember that love and passion involve the head And the heart.
You’re a romantic, Pisces, and your wild imagination and ability to dream fuel that. You’re prone to escapism, so watch that you don’t feel so in love with someone that you harbor delusions about the true nature of the relationship, Gelling says. “The desire for love may be so intense that you see it where it might not be,” Gelling says. Keep your head and heart in the clouds, Pisces, but get down to earth for a reality check often enough to make sure your emotions aren’t misplaced and reciprocated the way they deserve to be.
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